Bottoms Up: Movie Drinking Games

Let me start by saying that I am not much of a drinker. Nor do I encourage others to drink (you hear that youngsters?). However, there are a few movies out there that can be greatly enhanced with these college-inspired, expertly-designed drinking games, so if you are of-age and you have absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to go, grab some Lone Star, Old Style, or Natty Light and enjoy.

Now, I cannot take credit for all of the content in these games, as I am blessed with friends who are much drunker and cleverer than I, so thanks to everyone who had a hand in this.

The Saint

Take a drink…

Any time Val Kilmer does some sort of accent.

Any time Val Kilmer dons the masque of Sir Thomas Moore. (note: prepare a special glass of wine for Sir Thomas’s “I was weeping and I slipped. I was thinking of you. I don’t know” monologue.

When the red-haired kid pauses perfectly between saying "cold fusion" and "the theory."

Any time Elisabeth Shue mentions her “heart” or struggles to breathe.

When Elisabeth Shue utters the phrase, “Our love is like the cold universe” in a voice that sounds like it belongs to a 12-year-old.

Any time Elisabeth Shue’s acting is so bad you simply can’t take it. (note: be careful with this one, or it can turn very ugly.)

The Secret of My Success

Take a drink…

Any time Michael J. Fox’s hair inexplicably changes length or color from scene-to-scene.

Any time Michael J. Fox picks up an office product or other prop and flips it or taps it.

Any time Michael J. Fox spins in a circle or walks backwards for seemingly no reason.

Any time Michael J. Fox stares earnestly out a window, dreaming of his future.

Any time you question the casting choice of Helen “Legend of Billie Jean” Slater.

Independence Day (ID4 if you’re nasty)

Take a drink…

Any time a walking stereotype takes the screen. (I’m talking to you Jud Hirsch, Harvey Firestein, Randy Quaid, British Soldier #1, et. al.)

Any time Will Smith substitutes “attitude” for true human emotion.

Any time Goldblum lays down some sweet pseudo-scientific jargon just like he does in Jurassic Park, JP2, and The Fly.

Any time you actually start to feel patriotic.

Any time you grow disgusted with yourself for actually starting to feel patriotic.

Any time a scene from “V” is blatantly ripped off. (note: if you haven’t seen “V,” you have an obligation to yourself, to me, and to the entire GIK community to go out and get it right now.)

Any time Bill Pullman changes his inflection. (It doesn’t happen much, but boy when it does…whew!)

Any time cheap one-line insults are hurled at aliens who couldn't possibly have a grasp on the American idiom.


Good luck with these games, and feel free to add whatever you think is necessary to improve them. Please drink and watch responsibly.