Moved In!

Finally got moved into my new home. Of course, the movers totally sold us out, so we had to do that shit ourselves. Give me a day or two to recover and GIK will be back in full swing. You want to know more about a Bourne Identity/Hunt for Red October/Jaws rip off called Octopus? Oh, my friends, you shall.

What's on SciFi?

I finished Potter, and I'm slowly returning to normal. That said, I'd like to introduce a new segment on GIK. I toyed with it in the past, but I never fully committed, but now that's going to change, because I think we'd all be better people if we knew what we were missing by not tuning into SciFi. So, here's what's on tomorrow:

TIME	PROGRAM	TITLE	STEREO	CC
06:00 AM	PAID PROGRAMMING
09:00 AM	SCI FI ORIGINAL MOVIE	ATTACK OF THE SABRETOOTH
11:00 AM	SCI FI ORIGINAL MOVIE	FRANKENFISH
01:00 PM	SCI FI ORIGINAL MOVIE	MINOTAUR
03:00 PM	SCI FI ORIGINAL MOVIE	LARVA
05:00 PM	SCI FI ORIGINAL MOVIE	SABRETOOTH
07:00 PM	SCI FI ORIGINAL MOVIE	BONE SNATCHER
09:00 PM	SCI FI ORIGINAL MOVIE	SANDS OF OBLIVION
11:00 PM	SCI FI ORIGINAL MOVIE	BOA VS. PYTHON
01:00 AM	SCI FI ORIGINAL MOVIE	SANDS OF OBLIVION
03:00 AM	MOVIE	KING COBRA
05:00 AM	TWILIGHT ZONE, THE	THE HUNT
05:30 AM	TWILIGHT ZONE, THE	SHOWDOWN WITH RANCE MCGREW

OK. So I do have to speak. Check out past GIK reviews of Frankenfish and Minotaur. Yeah, i've seen 'em. And I'll never get those hours back.

Potter Watch

Freaking out over book. Can't talk now. Be back soon.

My Hobo Knife

As many of you know, I have spent the majority of ought-seven living in Austin, but really living in Dallas. For five out of seven months this year I have basically lived like a vagabond, pulling clothes from suitcases and riding the rails when it took my fancy. That was all about to change, as Monday (the Lovely Sherpa was to follow this weekend) was going to be the day I moved into my lovely new home located not too far from BTS' old stomping grounds (Go Golden Eagles?). However, I got, as they say, “Federicoed.” The property management folks decided the day after the lease went into my name would be the perfect time to start major foundation work on the house. So, the place is torn to shit, the move has been pushed back to the end of July, and I have returned to living the hobo dream, hiding away vittles whenever I can and feasting on cold canned beans as I make my way to the Big Rock Candy Mountain, my “seein' hound” Zeek my only companion. OK, so actually my old college roommates have allowed me to become their roommate again even though they're now married and have a baby. That being said, my living arrangements have made it difficult for me to give Left Behind III: World at War the time it deserves. For like a delectable meal of sweet meats, a film such as that is meant to be savored. I'm aiming to really focus up on it post-Potter 7, so probably some time next week. However, I didn't want this to turn into a GIK apology post and then fade away as has happened all year. Buck Williams will wait, and we can still get down to Grieco:

I was thinking about Grieco last night as I fell asleep in a bed that's not my own. I wondered if in the world of B movies/TV if it's better to be a faded star (like Kelly McGillis starring in tonight's SciFi extravaganza Super Gator; co-starring Brad Johnson of Left Behind fame) or one of the guys who never quite made it. Turning to '80s rock cliché as I am wont to do, I decided it's better to have lost in love than never to have loved at all and all that. I feel for those, or at least am more amused by those, who are not as famous as they think they are or thought they would be. Here are some of my favorites:

Vin Diesel: I know. He's made a ton of money and some kickass pictures (Pitch Black, xXx), but he thought he was going to be Schwarzenegger big. He thought he would dominate the box office for a decade and then run the largest state in the union. He even basically remade Kindergarten Cop with The Pacifier. But, alas, Ludacris probably won't be dropping any lines from The Pacifier into his songs any time soon.

Casper Van Dien: Van Dien is Van Damme to Vin Diesel's Arnold. With Starship Troopers (bold) and Sleepy Hollow (goth), you know he thought he would ride that vacant smirk to super stardom. Could he have imagined he would end up billed as “Capser” in the bio section on a dvd for a little Christian propaganda sci-fi movie I like to call Omega Code?

Daryl Hannah: This is a strange one. Some would call her a faded star, and I would not argue with that. But I see Ms. Hannah's career as one that never quite reached the point it was supposed to reach. After Splash and Roxanne it seemed like she was poised to be Meg Ryan before Meg Ryan or something along those lines. I know she's worked a lot, but somehow her being in Hard Cash makes perfect sense.


I know there are far more out there, so let me know who else has had the dream in their sights and then had to settle for a lesser dream. A hobo dream if you will.

The Further Adventures of Buck Williams

Left Behind II: Tribulation Force is that rare sequel that actually surpasses the original. It has all of the propaganda, community theatre costumes, and frighteningly earnest acting as the first one, but it's a lot more kickass. LB2 is the Red Dawn of Jesus movies, with the Antichrist (who's Russian) filling in for the Russians and Buck Williams (Kirk Cameron) and his Tribulation Force, a rag-tag band of would-be heroes in search of redemption, filling in for those plucky Wolverines. LB2 even shares Red Dawn's communists-will-eat-your-children vibe.

Here's some quick back story, and then we'll get to the highlight reel. Nicolae Carpathia (the Antichrist) has become a beacon of light to a ravaged world. With the promise of peace and hope, all eyes turn towards him for guidance. Only the Tribulation Force, helmed by Kirk with the doubting pilot and the doubting preacher from LB1, knows Carpathia's true identity, and they're committed to bringing down the Beast 'ere the Seven Seals are broken. Oh yeah, and the whole world is under martial law.

Highlights:

Carpathia at the UN
The Antichrist goes before the UN to discuss a “world currency.” OK, the guy who plays Carpathia is just plain awesome. I could have picked any of his scenes as highlights. I must work with this guy.

Buck Finds Love
Kirk finds non-sex, photo-booth style love with the formerly rebellious daughter of the formerly doubting pilot. It's all hugs and praying. Hot.

Fire-Breathing Bible Dudes
Two old bible-type guys (perhaps on loan from 10 Commandments: The Musical) stroll onto the sound stage standing in for Israel and breathe flames on two stunt men wearing fire suits. Best scene in the history of cinema?

Rabbis for Christ
Lest you forget what kind of movie this is, the world's leading Rabbi goes on global television (being filmed by star GNN reporter Buck Williams, of course) to proclaim that Jesus Christ was and is the true Messiah, and then asks God for forgiveness for being blind to the fact for so long. Yep. That's how we role in LB2

Trib Force is easily a 4-Grieco picture and a must-see. These movies are what GIK should be all about. You owe it to yourself to deal with this pre-post-apocalyptic, trashcans burning on the street, stipple brush-5:00 shadow masterpiece.


note: It's nice to be back. Look for a review of Left Behind III: World at War early next week.

Fly the Friendly Grieco

OK. Mistakes were made. Promises broken. Tournaments ignored. We can't fix that now. That's in the past. What we can do is stay focused on what's coming. While GIK was once the rantings of a man who worked from home and did his best to never step outside, it's now run by a man who has a job that requires him to, you know, put on pants. Luckily, those pants are jeans and the job is cool. That said, the aim of the new GIK is to come to you at least three times a week. Hey, some weeks it might be two and some might be four. And the week Potter 7 hits the shelves, there will probably no posts at all, as I will have hidden away to weep and whisper things like “accio broomstick” to myself over and over as I clutch my knees and sway back and forth. Yep, I've gotten a whole lot cooler since last time we spoke. Anyway, I'm looking to introduce a couple of new recurring segments, and I'm interested in bringing back TGOGS and any one else who might like to guest post.

That said, look for an in depth look into good and evil, god and the devil, and “Growing Pains” to hit GIK later this week when I break down Left Behind II: Tribulation Force and Left Behind III: World at War. I don't want to say too much, but I will tell you that in Left Behind III, Academy Award winner Louis Gossett Jr. plays the president of these United States. That's right, Col. “Chappy” Sinclair of Iron Eagle fame is joining up with Mike Seaver to save the effing world.

Sorry I've failed you this year. It won't happen again.

He Shall Rise Again

And 'Lo, I did turn to the East; to that darkest corner of the Earth, and I did behold the Pale Horse and its Pale Rider who did carry with him the pain and agony of an entire Age. "From the depths whence you cast me, I have Risen!" He called to me, his hair plugs aflame. "Look upon me, and know that I am Grieco!"