Voight in Tights!

When you've seen as many Grieco-worthy pictures as I have, you start to become a bit desensitized to crap. That's why I get really excited when I see a part of a movie that's so absurd it truly blows my mind. I had one of these glorious moments this past weekend.

After celebrating the lovely Sherpa's birthday, I returned home with three drunk, attractive ladies. In the old days, I would have been very excited about this, especially seeing as how there was a red head, a blonde, and a brunette. However, these days, the giggling and insane ramblings about men just bring more gray hair to my head. While two of the ladies postulated about the perfect man (apparently it's Harrison Ford) and tried to determine why people were mean, and while the lovely Sherpa tried to help them keep it down as to not wake the neighbors, I retreated to scan the 4 English-language TV channels I'm currently rocking.

Just as I was about to drift off, I saw it. A sight I never thought I would, nay, could see. It was Jon Voight in dublet and hose astride a horse prancing through an Arthurian backdrop. There are some actors who should never be in period garb. It has nothing to do with their talent, it just doesn't work (Pacino in Looking for Richard anyone?) Voight was comical and surreal and awesome. I quickly got sucked into the Palace intrigue. It seems that when the King (Wilfred Brimley—fuck yeah!) dies, the peaceful Voight will ascend to the throne. However, his warlike brother, Armand Assante, has something to say about that. On the night Voight marries his love, Assante stages a kidnapping and pins it on a rival nation a la The Princess Bride. But this is tragedy, my friends. Voight finds the body of his beloved in the forest, draws her close, and rails against the sky. Then—Boom! We're in modern times. (pause to reflect)

I literally shouted when the change came, because I truly didn't see it coming. It was the most Grieco thing I've seen in a very long time.

After Sherpa returned from the tiny beers and lip gloss party that was taking place on the patio, she did some serious Hound cross-checking and helped me discover that the movie was called Eternity and that Voight had co-written the screenplay (with God, perhaps?)

Anyway, back to the modern Voight. We learn that he is a reporter, and he believes he has shared a past-life experience with a woman close to the story he is working on. She, of course, is his Princess from the beginning. Assante and Brimley also show up in modern (Late '80s actually) roles that mirror their roles in the past. Soon after, I fell asleep. If you want to know how the picture turns out, you can get an in depth look at it from the good people of Agony Booth.

As for me, I'm giving it 4-Griecos, cuz that's how I roll. Voight in tights, a time shift. If you can't get behind that, may Hades ope its fierce maw and swallow you into Darkness.